**Image borrowed with love from CartoonStock **I'm sure I can't be the only one who is having these problems.
There have to be others of you out there, fighting back the anger, tears, curses, screams of agony.
You might be afraid to come out of the shadows and talk about it, and I understand why you would choose to hide.
I'm talking about dealing with the Bermuda Triangle of Medicine:
1. Getting past the office staff to see or speak to the doctor.
2. Getting the doctor to agree to write you a script for the medication needed and for the amount needed.
3. Getting your insurance and your mail order pharmacy or retail pharmacy (I don't judge) to actually fill the frippin script in a timely matter, without confusion, mistakes, or having to call them everyday to speak to someone different everytime, which means you have to retell your story again and again and again, only to have the person tell you that they have solved all of your problems and also fixed world hunger on top of it.
Then you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait.
After a few days of waiting with no reward at the end, you call again, only to find out that your script is not, in fact, in the mail as the previous fourty million people had told you, but this new person is going to solve all of your problems and end the war.
I feel like I am fighting the biggest battle of my life here. It's not the MS monster, it's not bullies at my childrens schools, it's not the economy, it's none of the things that should be a battle for me.
I am fighting my insurance and my mail order pharmacy because, even though I have been diagnosed for almost a year now, they still don't see the need in some of my MS medications. And I'm starting to get to a point where I don't see the need in having to explain why I need these medications to every Tom, Dick, and Shrilankitalutaria in India.
I understand that medications, such as Provigil, are outrageously expensive and, if I were the insurance company, I probably would want verification before I dispensed them to everyone and their brother too.
But I've done all of that. I have verificated until I thought my head was going to explode.
Yet, every time I call to order my refill, the battle begins again.
Maybe it's because the insurance companies know that people with MS tire out easily, especially if you don't send them their Provigil, and they're hoping that we'll just get so tired of fighting that we'll stop.
Little do they know that, while I may be exhausted, I am also extremeley stubborn.
I also hate to lose.
And I like to to have the last word, even if it's in a language I don't understand, I'm still crafty enough to make something up.
Don't get me wrong, I know how lucky I am to actually have insurance and that they do, eventually, cover my meds. I know people who do not have insurance and are now fighting "The Man" to pay for their meds.
I'd rather fight with someone in India whom I can't understand than fight with "The Man".
My point to all of this is.........what was my point?
Oh, right! Now I remember.
My point is, why do we all have to fight?
Why is every step a battle to win or lose?
And why is Provigil so freakin expensive?????
I guess my problem is this: Everyday I have an "Ahhh-Haaa!" moment where I realize that my MS is here for the rest of my life. I don't know if those moments will wear off in a few years, when all of this isn't still new to me, but I have been diagnosed with MS for almost a year now and I'm still having those moments.
It may come after a fall or on a day when I'm in a tremendous amount of pain. Other days it might show up when I'm walking around in circles because my memory is so bad that I can't remember anything that I needed to do.
Maybe it's the moment that I have to tell my daughter that I can't go with her as a chaperone on her field trip this year, even though I've gone every year before, because I can't walk as much and I can barely keep track of myself, nevermind five children that are not mine.
The look on her face and the tone of her voice when she said "It's ok mom, I understand." is an "Ahh-Haaaa" moment that hits you like a slap to the face.
But now I find myself wondering if living with MS for the rest of my life also includes fighting with my insurance company and my mail order pharmacy for the rest of my life as well?
I'm willing to go into battle for a lot of things: my husband who didn't plan on taking care of me at 30 when he married me at 20, my kids who don't deserve to have a disease come in and take their mother away, and even for myself because I once was, still am, a person who was involved with my childrens lives, who loved to laugh, who kept having ideas for books she was going to write, who loved to read romance novels constantly. All of those are worthy reasons to go into battle.
I just don't know if I'm up for battling the Bermuda Triangle Of Medicine.
How many of you out there have the same problems?
Please tell me that I'm not alone in this!
8 comments:
Oh, but my insurance is easy with the meds. They'll pay for Provigil without much fuss, BUT they stop paying for any meds after they've put out $1500 each year. That covers about 4.5 months of Provigil if you're taking only 1 tablet/day. However, I take an additional 8 meds, not including the Copaxone. But at least they don't argue over Provigil. :[
Sorry to hear that these office people have their heads shoved so far up their butts that they render themselves totally useless.
I remember fighting with my insurance when I was hospitalized with pneumonia and pleurisy about 3 years ago. It took over 2 YEARS for my insurance to finally pay for everything they were obligated to pay for. Meanwhile I had to call them all the time, explain my situation to 800 different people who all promised that it was getting taken care of, and harassing letters/phone calls from doctors and such demanding I pay them for the care I received. Like I had $30,000+ to just write out a check when I had insurance that was supposed to be paying for everything!
It is so maddening. I can only imagine how much more frustrating it must be in your situation.
Hang in there sweetie. Damn the man...even if its not the gov't, it still applies if you just think of it in terms of the "man" on the other end of the phone! lol
I always say that you have to laugh because the alternative is crying, and if I start that I might not stop.
I have the worst time with my urologist office(I promise this won't get too graphic.) MS really knocked out my bladder and I take a medication that really helps me. However the office is the worst. Good doctor, but a horrible horrible staff. Whenever I call in for a refill it takes almost two weeks to get some sort of movement. It is so infuriating! If I miss one day of said medication I can't pee for three days. And this I tell you is just not healthy.
I have said it before and I will say it again (...truth of the matter is I just lost my train of thought and sat here for about three minutes till I realized what it was that I said before...) We shouldn't be penalized for being sick. It is by no fault of our own, but we are made to feel as if we are improper. Asking for help is never easy and when we do, we are slapped in the face.
Damn the man. You know what, I'm gonna go have a talk with him. I believe he works down the hall from me.
I am terribly impressed that you are able to deal with this level of frustration without swearing. I just don't know how you can contain yourself because I DO know exactly the kind of mental anguish you are experiencing. I reach the Swearing Level of frustration very easily, but usually manage not to curse at the person who has incurred my wrath. However, I feel it's entirely appropriate to use the most colorful language you can muster when venting said emotion in this kind of forum.
As an aside, I also believe that some more "out in public" circumstances than blogging allow for four letter vocabulary. I can't advocate hollering at that dimwit who answers the phone at your MD's office, or even insurance Nazis. But that obnoxious bartender I told off a couple weeks ago SOOOOOO had it coming. At least I know that everyone in earshot was of age. Maybe that's how you set the standard? In any case, I say let 'er rip! It's cathartic, and who gives a shit who you offend?
I say rant and rave and let 'er rip! Something like this deserves your best deck hand speech you've got! I no you don't want to do that in front of your kids out loud on the phone, but for goodness sakes Kiddo, that's what blogging is all about! Say what you feel, get it off your chest, and you'll feel somewhat mollified if not necessarily better!
If nothing else, just send me an e-mail with every curse word you felt like uttering in this post, I won't mind, I have a very hard time keeping a civil tongue in my head :D
As for the insurance problem, well I can't really speak to that being a Canuck an' all, as well as the fact that I have gotten rid of all meds I've been on. But one thing I do know about insurance companies and it doesn't matter where you live. They'll do everything in their power to not pay a cent out till it's damn near nuclear war with the client. They like money coming in, not going out, and they always make you fight. It's sick, sick I tell ya!
I had to give up my beloved Provigil. Copays are too high!
OMG,
Rant, rave, swear, kick the computer, the phone, not the kids though, cause I think that will get you put into jail...at least here in Canada it will. Get it out of your system and onto the bastards that are messing around with your drugs!
I have it easy compared to you, at least drugwise. I live in Canada, and have 2 drug plans, so the 19 different meds I am on daily (not including my weekly Avonex injection) are happily covered by my plans. I have dealt with the 'man' before though, and I think that sometimes you do have to 'lose it' with them. Not that they will understand half of what you are saying cause we all know that they are from another country.
Wish I could send you my Provigal...but I think that we would both end up in jail for that one.
Hugs,
Trudy
Great read tthankyou
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