Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm Still Alive And Kickin'..Well, Maybe Not Kicking Exactly...

Ok, all of you fellow "veteran" MS people, I have one question for you (actually, I could pelt you with questions until your eyes roll back in your head). Are you ready for my one question?

Does this first year of never ending crap ever stop? Is there a light at the end of my tunnel or is that a train coming straight at me??

Yes, I realise now that those were two questions but they're grouped together into a cluster for one answer.
I just do not get this whole disease! And, to be honest, I'm pissed at it all the same!
I didn't want to turn this post into a whiny, woes me, I must be the only person on earth dealing with this so everyone must feel sorry for me post.

I guess that I should have made some sort of disclaimer when you all started showing up so that you wouldn't be disappointed. Something like:

**Warning:This person is NOT always funny! In fact, sometimes she's rather bland and whiny!
I guess that I was hoping that the first doctor, the one who diagnosed me, would be right. That I would start the Rebif injections and start popping the Provigil and I would instantly be right back to my old self.
Now I'm worried that "my old self" may be a goner.
Let's talk about something else....lalalala..I know!
Ooh! I forgot to tell you all that I got my "new ride"!
That's right, I am now the proud owner of a scooter. But I have to tell you, I'm a bit dangerous on the thing. Seriously! As in I've had it for two days and I've already put a few scuffs on it from running in to stuff. Nothing major and nothing was broken.
The picture here is kind of what it looks like except for I got four wheels instead of three. I wouldn't want any tipping over happening!
We did have two "near hit and runs" happen though.
The first one happened when the Scooter Store guy was still here, teaching me how to use the new ride. He told me to get in the chair so that he could "measure me" (which we all know what that means right? That's right, I'm still hot! Oh, that wasn't what you were thinking?) So I got in the chair and then the wee monkey decided that he needed to climb in too. So, I'm sitting there, the littlest monkey in my lap, and this guy is behind me "measuring me" *wink wink* when the little monkey decides that we're going to go for a drive. In reverse.
I tried to explain all of this to the guy but I'm pretty sure that he left here thinking it was me.
The second happened when The Hubs decided that he was going to take it for a spin. He was like a chipmunk on crack on that thing!

The first thing he figured out was how to crank up the speed all the way up and then he just started going around all over the place. Then he would yell "How do you stop??" I would say "Take your finger off the gas thingy!" and he's say "Where is it?" as he was nearing mowing me over. After a few minutes I figured out that the best thing for me to do was to round up the kids and get us all to higher, non-scooter friendly ground and wait until he had his fun.
Of course, I am a little disappointed in a few things. The first would be the sissy "horn" they put on it. They can call it a horn but I would have better luck pulling one of the kids hair to get them to yell than I would with that horn. It's highly disappointing.
Also, there isn't a lot of room for my flames. I was really looking forward to having flames painted on it. But as you can tell from the picture, the red doesn't cover a whole lot.
And the tires are teeny tiny! Where am I going to find rims to find those teeny tiny tires? Maybe the wee man has some cool ones on a Hot Wheels car around here.
But the most disappointing thing about it is the fact that it's mine.
Before I had kids and a hubs, I had a boyfriend who had taught me how to drive a Harley by myself. I was told that it was "HOT" to see a chick driving her own hog.
But try as I may, this scooter will never be a hog. But then again, I'm not that young chick anymore either so I guess we're even.


Chrystal said...

I am so going to go get one now! You make me jealous. I would hitch a wagon to it, just so my rugrats could go with me. Good for you, I am so glad to hear you got one. If this is going to help you, then you need it, and you better use it. You and Mrs. Talerico, art teacher at shhs she retired, are the only two people I actually know, and truth be told, I know nothing about it. Now give me a question about diabetes, I can do that for you.
Your a hot mama on wheels now, use it to your advantage.

Bald Ben said...

Does this first year of never ending crap ever stop?

Well, a year only being 365 days, ensures that at some point your first year of MS will stop. It's just simple mathmatics.

However, I'm not sure if the never ending crap really does take a break. That being said you become better equipped to deal with things. The new stuff becomes old stuff, some of it goes away and some of it hangs around. Change is constant and you just get use to it. I am sure you can relate with your munchkins...

Is there a light at the end of my tunnel or is that a train coming straight at me?? In my opinion, we have to make that light. I always say that MS is like that scene from Austin Powers where they are on a steam roller bearing down on the guy and they keep cutting back and forth until you realize that they are a football field away from him.

We are getting hit by a bus. It's just a very slow moving bus, and we are trying with all we got to get out of the way of that GDed bus.

I'm super sorry about the chair. As cool as the chair is, I can only imagine how it feels. My diagnosis was, in some perverse way, a bit of a badge of honor. I got MS (puffed up chest)

It's like walking around on crutches, everybody asks and they are super nice and feign concern. You exchange numbers they tell you then want to hang out, it's been far too long....But after 6 weeks normally you can take off that cast. Everything is back to normal.

We can't take this one off. Truth be told I fell for the first time the other night. While to my wife it look like I got up too fast and got hung up on my PJs, the truth was that my knee just wasn't holding out. That hurts on the inside a bit.

BUt I say let this bastard take me apart piece by piece. I'll fight 'em every step of the way, I don't care how dumb I look doing it.

Oh and check this out...

If you haven't scene the film version of the Who's "Quadrophenia" I suggest you check it out. You can trick out your bike just like Sting.

Sammie said...

Unfortunately I don't think it stops. That's not to say that year two won't be better than year one or better than year three. The only thing I've truly come to understand about MS in the few years since my diagnosis is that you never know WHAT it's going to be like from one day to the next. It gets better, it gets worse, it gets better again just not as much, it evens out, then the next day you fall down. It's like some crazy, spastic roller coaster ride.

I think Ben is right...that you get used to it. You get used to dealing with it. You get used to the unpredictabilities. You get used to being this new person. You get used to not totally being your old self anymore, but rather being the same you with new things to deal with. In the're still the YOU that you've always been; you've just grown and adapted to what life has thrown at you.
Also...jealous of the scooter! Harley or not it would be such a huge help.

Trudy said...

Lucky you and your pretty new scooter. I think that I'll stick with the cane or a walker, I would probably run over my husband the first day, and that would be on purpose...although no one could ever prove that.
I'm jealous, but not; you know what I mean I'm sure.

I'm a new MSer as well. Just over a year since diagnosis, and I feel the same as you...stop this stupid effing merry-go-round...I have had enough!

Sorry, don't even know you, but I do understand, and I have added you to my blog list, and visit again. Its nice to find someone out there who feels like I do, although I am sorry that you are feeling this way.


This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I left you something on my blog...



I think that the ride slows down, speeds up, retraces steps, and goes in loops. When new stuff comes along, it's like starting over again (sort of). But it does get easier with time.

Hey, to enhance the flames and wings on the new 'Harley' scooter, I think you need a spiffy new helmet and rider jacket. What do you think?


I wrote a blog post a many months ago called, "Gimp My Ride"...I'd like to see some spinners on the wheels, a cup holder, some fuzzy dice, etc. Give it some thought...LOL

Linda D. in Seattle said...

I, too, have a scooter -- mine is blue, with 3 wheels -- and I've grown to love it. No more tripping and wobbling, and I'm getting to be a really proficient "driver." At first, though, I really had some experiences. In a department store, I took down a whole rack of bras (how embarrassing,) I ran over my husband's foot, and I back into an elevator wall and left a dent! You'll get used to it, and you'll learn to ignore the looks of pity. I just wish places were more accessible so I could take it everywhere. Good luck.


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