Thursday, November 13, 2008

Just A Few Ramblings From A Foggy Mind

I swear, lately I have been in such a fog! I just wander around, forgetting things, wondering what it is exactly that I'm supposed to be doing, and always getting distracted. It's like I suddenly have aquired the attention span of a gnat. "Ooooh, look, something shiny!" and away I go. I'm sure for a lot of you who have had this wonderful disease longer than me, this is nothing new to you. For me, it's infuriating. I've tried making lists but then I lose the first list so I start a second and on and on until I've paid the Post It employees salaries for an entire year.
I don't know if any of you have been over to visit my other blog, but it's called Rambling Thoughts and I named it that for a reason. That's usually what I've got going on in my head. Just rambling, random thoughts floating around up there and I mostly just type down the dialog that's going on in my head. I just want to warn you that you'll get a lot of rambling from me. It happens. I can't help it. Deal with it. Everyone will be happy.
Oh, I wanted to say that I was surprised by the comments for yesterdays post. While I'm glad to hear that most of your all's friends have stuck by you, I was really expecting more to say that they had been through what I'm going through now with the amazing disappearing friend show. I will say that the friends that have stuck around have been so amazing through all of this and are always willing to lend a helping hand. I guess I just wasn't expecting that part of my life to change much.

In other news, I have another wonderful blogger to thank for welcoming me to the MS Blogging community. Lisa Emrich from Brass and Ivory wrote a post welcoming me and she only asked for a couple of things in return! :)

Thank you Lisa and all of you for making me feel welcome. I know that none of us asked to be here but it makes it so much better that we're in it together than dealing with it alone.

You can also visit Brass and Ivory by clicking on the link in my blog roll (which she only hinted a little that she wanted me to put her in) I saw something on there about how she's going to take us all to a carnival or something so that should be fun, right? I love carnivals!

Also new on my blog list is Ben at Did You Know That Montel Williams Has That? First of all, I loved the name of his blog since I've heard that question a lot since being diagnosed and he also left the most interesting comment in yesterdays post and this is just a little part of it:

"So at the risk of sounding all Charles Manson here...I'm gonna add you to my page as well. Let me know if that is weird or whatever, but I'm gonna do it. There aren't too many dudes out here for some reason. That's cool though, I guess I'm just the sensitive type."

Ahh, Ben you had me at "at the risk of sounding all Charles Manson". And if you haven't been over to visit Ben's page, or Bald Ben as he calls himself (hmmm, I wonder if that means he's bald?) you totally should because I did yesterday and he's really funny. And he's right, I haven't seen a lot of guys out there and it's nice to get a guy's point of view for a change!

One last rambling before I head off into the fog. I have another appointment tomorrow with another new neurologist. See, I have a neurologist at the University of Georgetown Hospital who is amazing. The only down side is the drive. It takes three hours to get there, or more if D.C. traffic is bad. The hubs and I both agree that it would be good for me to have a local neuro established if anything should come up.

I've been down this road about four times now. There are a lot of quacks out there calling themselved Neurologists! There was one who, on the first visit, saw me walking in with a limp, and said "You don't have to walk like that. If you have disability papers just give them to me. I'll fill them out." Nice.

Number Two told me that none of my symptoms were from MS. At the time I had right leg weakness, foot drop, trouble with my speech, and fatigue. #2 says that MS didn't cause any of those things. He says that I was just really stressed out. He wanted to send me out of there with some pretty heavy duty antidepressants and a lot of Xanax. Movin on.

I have some hope for this one though. A woman that I've been exchanging emails with for a while sees her for her MS and says she's great. We'll see. Wish me luck!

Now I'm off, into the fog, to look for something shiny!


This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I think its Teri Garr (Mr. Mom, Young Frankenstein) that alos has MS and went for 20 years without a proper diagnosis because all the doctors she saw had their heads up their butts or were similarly blinded by the obvious stuff going on with her. I thought of you when I read a little bit about her.

Hang in there; eventually you will get a doctor worth the piece of paper that their PhD degree was printed on.

And Ben had me at "at the risk of sounding all Charles Manson"..too! lol

BRAINCHEESE said... about tangential. I read your post and immediately I have a very OLD Helen Reddy song blaring in my brain! First line of the lyrics goes, "Foggy day in L.A...think I'll write a song".

Mkay...not from Los Angeles, can't sing or write songs, no fog in Seattle this morning...WTF??!?!

Speaking of foggy brains. LOL

Linda D. in Seattle


Awww shucks. Thanks Tracy for the shoutout. : )

Now, if you were in DC today, you'd see that it's quite foggy at Foggy Bottom. Yucky gray here today in the nation's capitol.

I don't go to Georgetown for neuro stuffs, but I have an awesome neurologist (and his team) in Fairfax, VA. They have folks who come up from NC, in from other surrounding states, and even one patient who flies in once a year from Alaska!!!! OK, granted she/he has family in the area, but still....

Have a safe drive tomorrow and wave "hi" as you pass Exit 69 off of I-66. I'll figuratively wave back atcha.

karen wynder said...

i completely understand the fog thing...especially dealing with ms and kids but I am grateful to you for paying the Post-It employees salaries. If I didn't have Post-Its I would never remember my name (although I forget my kids' quite often!)

steenky bee said...

I wish you luck! Keep me posted, please....

I'm off to check that Ben guy's blog. I would hate to hear "Hey did you know that Ron Jeremy has that" when I mentioned any of MY symptoms to anyone.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Beth-Well, I think I have the proper diagnosis already, I'm just trying to find a local neuro that knows a little bit about it so that I won't have to fight with them!

Braincheese- Ummmm, I have to say that I've never heard that song. But you can keep on singin' it if you want to. I don't mind!

Lisa- I didn't know that you lived near D.C.! OR maybe I did and forgot or something anyways, at this very moment, it was a surprise!
And just so you know, the next time I'm driving by, I'm gonna do more than wave, I'm gonna drop off my kids for babysitting (you'll need to feed them and the baby will most likely have a poopie diaper) and the hubs will want to watch football on your TV, and after my drs. appt. I'll need like a hotbath with fluffy towels and cake.
I'll let you know when my next appt. is! :)

Karen-I have done that with my kids so many times! I feel horrible and then I think "I only have 3, I should be able to remember 3 frippin names!" I mean, look at that lady on TLC with 18 kids, man, I would totally be in trouble. They would all either have to get tatoos of their name on their forehead or deal with being called "Hey you" or "that one there" for the rest of their lives.

Steenky Bee- Check Ben out, just make sure you come back here. You know...cause I'm still a little comment needy and all....

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

I didn't mean that you were misdiagnosed. I was thinking specifically of the one doctor who said your symptoms weren't MS-related and how that doctor must not know what is going on. I thought of you when I read about Teri more just because of the frustrations in dealing with MS overall.

Casey said...

The stress thing pisses me off. I am sorry stress doesn't cause your legs to stop working, it just doesn't.

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